why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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