if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
