peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize