She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
