You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
