Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
