Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
