His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
