I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
