just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
