Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
