Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
