so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
