I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
As shirtless as possible
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
