I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
