New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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