It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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