I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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