He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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