are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
