I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The power of my boobs compel you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
