Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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