I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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