You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
