plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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