we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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