Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
