There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize