i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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