That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
