dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize