bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
