I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
