We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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