I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
