sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
