Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
