I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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