i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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