I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
