i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
