those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
two words: eviction party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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