The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
