No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
