she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
