so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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