My room smells like vodka and shame
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize