omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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