yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
