i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
