seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
