are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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