haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
