9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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