I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize