haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
