I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
