Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
