I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
