What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So squirting runs in the family.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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