Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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