and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
