I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize