so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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