Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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